Lately I feel like a robot. Honestly, I find myself speaking all mono-syllabic and moving hurky-jerky style. I feel as if I lost the up in my giddy-up and I am locked in the ho-hum hum-drum of unemployment. This totally sucks! Five months and counting. I have created a routine and I am rather sure I have mentioned my routine in earlier posts but I am too lazy to re-read it looking for it to link to it. Robots don't do things like that. They only do what is in their routines and what they are programmed to do. I am programmed to get up, read the paper, look for jobs, apply for jobs, clean the house, do laundry, go to work with my husband, make pizzas, deliver the pizzas, come home, look at Facebook, fold the laundry I put in the dryer before the leaving the house, empty the dishwasher, watch a rerun of "Cold Case" and fall asleep. Then repeat.
I wish someone would push reboot or reprogram me to do something different. Last week I did do other things but even those other things were work like mowing the lawn, weeding the flower bed, raking, waxing the floor and unpacking those boxes of weird shit I can't figure out where it goes but I know I have to keep it. Aaargh. I want to enjoy summer but summer enjoyment apparently equals money which one earns by working outside the home which is what I don't do and in my job with my husband--it is unpaid so the business doesn't have to pay someone else, so what fun is that?
I think I may have a nervous breakdown and start beeping like Silas does when he is nervous. For example: First day of school, "Hi. I am your new teacher. What is your name?" "Beep." *Me* "His name is Silas." "Oh, welcome Silas. Let us find your desk. You are sitting next to Libby. Do you know Libby?" *Him* "Beep." "Well, you must be a little nervous. That is ok. Second grade is going to be fun. What is your favorite sport?" *Him* "Beep." I finally left him at his desk even though he didn't stop beeping. He always stops eventually.
Robots get stuck in routines because that is what they are made to do. Not me. If I am stuck in a routine I want compensated for it. Here are somethings I would like to be paid for: working and working. I am good at working. Mother f***er. Beep. Does not compute. Does not compute. Beep. Beep. Beep.