Whatever

Is it wrong to mock your children?  If so, I have been a bad mother for quite some time.  In my house it is not uncommon for the boys to say my name like "mmmmooohhhhhmm" and for me to respond with their name in the same tone.  When I have had it with bad attitudes they are exhibiting I start answering their questions in the same manner. 

"Mom, when is dinner?"  

"Whatever." 

"No, Mom, what is for dinner?"  

"Whatever."  

"Mom, come on, what are we having for dinner."  

"Why do you have to ask me so many questions?  I can't think....."

A few weeks ago, I got so frustrated at feeding the children and having them act like dogs that get fed and come running to their dishes only to run away away again after scarfing down their food, I just didn't make dinner.  Not at all.  It was after 8:30 when my oldest son came out and asked about dinner.  My husband informed him that Mom wasn't making anything because she was tired of the way they expect to be fed and don't interact with me unless forced.  He looks at me.  The younger one stands by his side, eyes open wide..I unleashed.  Why do I have to go in their rooms to talk to them?  Why do I have to force conversations?  They hadn't been asking me anything or talking to me unless they wanted something.  After they get answers they disappear to their rooms to play on ipods, xbox, blah, blah.  Why should I cook dinner for someone who doesn't care back?  I wouldn't cook dinner for dad if he ignored me all the time.  Why are they different?  They had cereal that evening.  I got the response I wanted because now they make a point to come out of their caves (aka bedrooms) and at least say "hello" when I get home at night.

Occasionally, I go on strike to make a point.  Sometimes this affects my husband, sometimes not.  It can be the little things that I get tired of doing without others pitching in.  Laundry.  Dishes.  Grocery shopping.  Once they realize it, they pitch in and life returns to normal.  Should this even happen?  Do other mothers go through this?  I don't care who says parenting is wonderful.  It makes me want to drink.

Reasonable Resolutions

This is the time of year when people start touting their new year's resolutions and they really mean it.  With intent.  The sad part is most people fail.  I only know one person who has held true to a resolution for a full year.  My former boss, Gerard, made reasonable resolutions.  One year he decided to eat a "wafer thin sandwich" everyday for lunch while at work.  It was rather easy to achieve.  2 pieces of white bread; mayonnaise; sometimes mustard; 2 pieces of Carl Buddig beef, ham, or turkey and a slice of American cheese.  He achieved that goal.  Another year he dedicated his resolution to taking a photo each day.  It didn't matter if it was a bush covered by snow on his walk to work, his children smiling or a picture of his foot.  He almost achieved it except for one day when he had the flu or sickness so bad that he thought he was going to die so he didn't follow through.  In my mind, he made it.  In his, he didn't.  You decide....

Too many people set unrealistic goals.  I am going to lose 70 pounds; wear the same size I wore in high school; quit drinking; quit smoking; eat healthier; blah, blah, blah.  If you really want to do those things, just do it.  Don't wait until some epic event to make you start.  

This year I have resolved to set attainable goals.  My goals are listed below.  I think at this point there are more than are possible but I have another day to decide and wean out those that I don't will happen with certainty.

1. Drink a beer at least once a week (This I can almost guarantee is possible unless the government enacts prohibition this year or the Coors Corporation ceases to exist.)  I would say a beer a day but that would make me sound like an alcoholic.
2. Smile more often--or actually smile at someone I don't know daily.  
3. Play the kinect and learn the dance to California Girls by Katie Perry so Anne and I can perform our flash mob we keep joking about.
4. Be nicer to my family.  Not just nod when they speak but actually be nice.  Interact more even though I might be in a cruddy mood.  Hug them more often and just "be".  Live in the moment.  I think this stems from the realization that the boys are growing up too fast and I already miss them in a younger form.  
5. Eat vegetarian one day a month.  For some this is easy.  I live with carnivores.  This may be difficult.  I can usually get away with it when the family is not around however they don't feel like they have been feed unless some type of animal winds up in their stomachs.  I don't mean vegan either.  I mean the fake vegetarian that can eat eggs and dairy products.
6. Lose one pants size.  Granted, I am one of those people who dreams of losing tons of weight but I am being practical.  I might achieve this by solely playing Just Dance on the kinect on a daily basis.  We shall see.
7. One family involved activity every week.  Mormon families do this already but mine kind of does a hodge-podge of whatever they feel like.  Movies count as long as all 4 of us are together.  Not just Alan and I watching it while Silas plays the iPod and/or Cody uses his laptop.  This is the age of techie children.  I know I shouldn't condone it but I do.  Oh well.
8. Write at least one post a month.  That should be something I do.  Just for me.  Sometimes I feel selfish writing to no one in particular then I realize that I do it in my journal anyway or daydream for long amounts of time so why not.  It might not be interesting to others but I am sure I can do this.
9. Finish reading "Atlas Shrugged."  I just started this week.  It is so long the librarian asked me to report back to her when I finished.  She said she heard it was good but its size alone intimidated her too much to attempt to read it.
10. Do at least one load of laundry a week.  Many may not believe this is a goal.  It is for me.  I hate laundry.  I resent it.  I can do my own laundry but I don't want to do it for others.  In the next year I will do more laundry and possibly put it away instead of putting it in the clean basket on top of my dresser.  
11. Bring back a little more "Nikki" each day.  I have just felt like I lost myself somewhere.  If I keep looking maybe I can find me.

So that's what I have come up with to date.  Not a huge list but enough to choose from and possibly even complete at 75%.  Time will tell.  As I write this, I am realizing how difficult it may be since my husband is already making comments about me actually writing to no one again.  He thinks my blog is my boyfriend even though I have not  posted in three months. Wait until he finds out I have started using "Pinterest."  Maaaahaaahaaaa (evil laugh if you couldn't tell from reading that)

Happy 2012.  May you too have achievable goals.

I have Graduated!

Tonight at dinner I found out that I have apparently graduated from the "Meanest Mom in the World" to the "Creepiest Mom in the World."  I am not sure if that is really a bad thing either.  For the past 15 years, there have been many times in which I have been accused of being mean.  Usually this "being mean" involves responsible parenting.  Examples would be having a child clean their room, do chores, finish homework, act appropriately or even *Gasp* accept responsibility for their actions while they are in trouble.  I have been very deserving of this title and have worked diligently at earning and living up to the role.  It took many years of training.

I have also found out that there are other mothers out there who may also qualify as the "Meanest Mom in the World."  To them I say "Excellent Job!"  It is rather difficult to have the title stick.  This mother may have earned it in her child's eyes but other mom's out there are raising our glasses of wine at night when the kids are in bed and saying "Cheers" and "Here! Here!"  Ma'am we applaud you!!

What has transpired tonight is a bit different.  One that I had never pondered.  One that I never knew I would be proud of holding.  Yet it is now here.  I have become the "Creepiest Mom in the World".  I do not remember the last time I was so verklempt by such an honor.  It will be difficult to give my acceptance speech.  However, I will persevere and wade through the emotions that overcome me at this time of recognition.

I always thought a creepy mom would look like this:

(Although, I must note, that Ann Coulter is always creepy)  Or, a creepy mom would look like this:

What have I done to begat this fame?  I informed my son that yes, he could indeed go hang out with his friends, however, I may at any time come and check on him.  Yep, that is right.  I confirmed that at any given moment in time, I may shatter his reality of coolness by verifying his whereabouts by making a public appearance.  It doesn't mean that I will.  It doesn't mean I will show up at the library when he is "studying."

It doesn't mean I will be peeking on him as he is walking downtown or through neighborhoods with his peers.

Or even making a discreet stop at the mall.

It simply means that when he tells me that he will be somewhere I will reserve the right to follow up and verify that he is there.  If he is truly going to be participating in whatever event he has told me then it should be no big deal.  BUT, if he isn't truthful and has different intentions then I guess it would be terrifying and possibly creepy.

Oh well, I don't mind being creepy.  At least I know where my kids are.