What's the Plan, Stan?

"Always have a plan, even for the little things.  Don't just go out and say you are going out for a Coke.  Decide ahead of time - if they don't have a Coke, then have a Pepsi.  If no Pepsi, then a Fanta.  Don't ever get caught by surprise, learn to always think ahead, be prepared."  Carlos Fonseca.  

Sandinista: Carlos Fonseca and the Nicaraguan Revolution; Matilde Zimmerman

I have always been one to have a plan and goals.  I remember my earliest ones starting in high school. Get the hell out of there.  So I doubled up on classes and graduated a year and a half early.  It then moved into getting a job that pays at least $8 an hour (in the early '90's that was a decent pay and gas was still under $1 a gallon).  Then my goal morphed into getting a promotion.  Did it.  I floundered a bit because I did somethings backwards and got married and had a baby.  Got divorced at 20 so I moved to Idaho to begin again.  Started the job thing all over.  My goal changed from getting a promotion (although I did get raises) to going to college.  After three (3) years of working, I was finally in a place where I could work part-time and go to school full-time.  While I was in school my goals were educationally attainable.  Get a 4.0.  Done.  Dean's List.  Done.  Scholarships.  Done.  Go to Oxford.  Done.  

After college, I just had my part-time job become a full-time job.  I then advanced a few times from that position.  I got bored with Idaho.  I changed my goal to moving and finding a job at the same time.  Done.  Then it was the regular milestones of monotony:  make more money.  Government jobs are good like that.  My goals meshed with moving up so I became a certified floodplain manager; certified residential building inspector; and finally a certified planner.  I think I was also certifiably stupid because even with all the credentials I didn't foresee the economic downtown in construction.  I wasn't prepared to lose my job.  Metaphorically speaking it was as much of a shock as taking your dog for a walk and a car jumps the curb and runs over your dog - killing it in front of you while the leash is still in your hand.  (That is a real scenario too.  My friend, Bad Luck Amanda, had it happen to her).

Had I prepared, I would have had a plan in place rather than flailing around and collecting a pitiful amount of compensation in the form of unemployment benefits.  I would have been able to walk out of the planning department, breathed a sigh of relief and jumped into my next adventure.  I never would have ended up at the assisted living facility wiping asses for almost a year.  I wouldn't have ended up in the comfortable position I am in now and thoroughly enjoy, even though it does nothing to promote my job interests resume-wise.  

I am so frustrated with it all right now.  I could wish for a break that lets me use my strengths (e.g., typing, writing, customer service, analytic thinking and research) or I could actually do something about it.  And that's what I'm going to do, dammit.  

Right now I have a part-time position on the horizon. It is back in the planning field.  I can work it around my existing job.  It would allow me to use my brain again and I would be continually learning.  Honestly, that is what I miss the most about my former line of work.  I was learning every day.  I had to research trends and apply them to a local community level.  I had to memorize them so I didn't look like a bumbling idiot answering questions on the public access channel that replayed the videos of the city council meetings.  It was as if I was still in school.  

I am also applying for a part-time position as a research assistant.  It won't require ever meeting my boss.  It would involve researching material for that person to write a book and communicating online.  And typing, loads of it.  Transcription.  Tons of it.  F-U-N!  Plus, it would be something that would allow me to feel like I am contributing something by no longer being idle and just preparing paperwork.  If wishes were fishes, the sea would be full.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

*Note:  I am afraid I have lost my sense of humor.  I still love to smile but not much is funny.  I am beginning to think it is the winter.  Maybe I have S.A.D. or maybe I am bored from not thinking.  Either way it needs to stop.  I will have to figure it out.  Lately my only source of enjoyment has been pinterest and trying out new hairstyles including fish-bone braids and no heat curls.  For Christ's Sake!  Somethings gotta give*

In Which I Get a Job that I like!!!!

I have undergone quite the transformation in the past year and half.  I went from a highly professional job where I was valued for my knowledge and treated in high regards to some very different types of positions.  [It is funny when I think back to it.  Sometimes I remember events and for some reason everyone in my head speaks with an English accent and sometimes I am wearing a wig like George Washington.  Ok, so that is when I have dreams about my old job but still...it is kinda odd don't ya think, chap?  End Rant Here.]  I was a pizza delivery driver, pizza maker, house keeper and finally an overqualified butt wiper.  I know my last job wasn't really all butt-wiping but it was the part that I had NO IDEA about before I had accepted it.  Granted, it was only when I had to work the floor or as a last resort, but just not my cup of tea (see, the English thing again).

Overall the dynamics where I worked for 9 months were not ideal.  Many times I felt like Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber (*Note, to truly understand the torment please click on that link).  I could go on and on and I am sure over time I will post little snippets of the hellish ordeal but for now I am trying to remove it from my memory and focus on the good.  Which is why I am writing in the first place and it brings us full circle to one year ago........

Last year I interviewed for a position that I knew I could totally do and was offered the job in a round-about way.  They basically said they couldn't afford me.  They said what they could offer and I agreed with them because at that time, my naivety about how dire the job market would become was unfathomable.  I was still expecting to find a job that made within $5 and hour of what I had been making.  So needless to say, I went on my merry way and continued to drudge forward through unemployment for another 6 months {Rant--my husband continually said "I told you to accept that other job" whenever I complained about the job I had accepted. Rant ends here}.

Fast forward 13 months later: While perusing through Craigslist I spied the same job that I had turned down last year!!!!!   No way!  Could it be?!?!  Since I had accepted the other job and "settled" for a lower salary that was commensurate with what they had offered me I wondered if I should go for it.  When I told my husband about it his response was "I told you to accept it last year!"  So I contacted them and told them my situation: the past year was pure hell and I had kicked myself for not accepting it before and I GOT THE JOB!!!!  That simple!!!!!!  Holy buckets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started at the new job about two weeks ago.  It is a job I can do.  It is a job that makes me happy.  It is a job where I am appreciated.  It is a job where I am no longer on call, ever!!  I can have nights and weekends and holidays free!  I can go out of town.  I can drink too many beers and not get a call that someone is sick or didn't show up or there is a major crisis that I can't deal with because I got my beers on.  I can take the kids to school in the morning and then go to work.  I can leave for a full hour at lunch and take my husband to work and not have to check out and let someone know I am leaving the premise on my own time.  Pay dirt baby!!!!

My new job is administrative--the kind of crap that I did before I went to college.  However, my experiences elsewhere have come in handy and I am actually highly-qualified!!!!!!!!!  My desk is behind a large counter.  You can't even see my head when you walk in unless I really sit up to peer over the ledge.  It is my happy place.  My very own happy place and I can't think of anywhere I would rather be from 8:30 - 5 pm, Monday through Friday.  Woot! Woot!

Happy Administrative Professionals Week

So apparently this week is "Administrative Professionals Week."  I knew of Secretaries Day and that they changed it to Administrative Assistant Day to be more P.C. in the early 00's but I didn't realize there is now a whole week of celebration.  WOW!  I wonder what offices really do to celebrate all week long?????  


When I was an administrative assistant (very long ago) a coworker told me to get him some coffee.  I told him to screw himself.  He said "What, you are my secretary."  I said "No, I am an Administrative Assistant."  So then he said since I wasn't a secretary and wouldn't fetch his morning cup of joe that he wouldn't buy me flowers for Secretaries Day.  He didn't either but his wife did.  She took the money out of his wallet when she heard what a flippin' tard he was and pitched it into the office pool which provided me with a bouquet of assorted rainbow colored flowers and a very nice lunch out.  Ahhhh, those were the days....


Here is how I would celebrate each day of Administrative Professionals Week if I was employed.  I would show up to work everyday and do my job.  I would also thank my employer on a daily basis for hiring me so that I would have a job and not have to live in my car (I don't really live in my car now but I used to have the greatest boss in the history of mankind and when we would bitch about how someone did us wrong or how work sucked she would remind us that we should be thankful that we had jobs and didn't have to live in our cars--and how right she was too).  I would then make coffee and offer to refill everyone's mugs when they were getting low and maybe even wear one of those server's aprons with the front pockets so I could carry around little packets of sugar, sugar in the raw, splenda, truvia, nutra-sweet (so many kinds because everyone has a differing favorite) and a cornucopia of flavored non-dairy creamers to make everyone that much more happy with their choice in hiring me.  And that is what I would do to celebrate Administrative Professionals Week.  Hire me please.....


My job search continues but it is filled with really simplistic jobs that even my 14 year old is over-qualified to do and would probably quit because it makes more money to be on unemployment.  I saw an advertisement for a retail greeter.  I don't think I am old enough to do that and plus I might not be very good at that.  I don't like to meet new people.  


I also saw a very interesting prospect on Craigslist this weekend and I may look into but I have some reservations.  You see, I prefer quiet.  I don't really like loud that much and you know that I don't like stupid typos and noob users of computers and the like.  Anyway, this job could be promising because it is for a Fortune 500 company (or so says the ad).  The problem with the ad is that it is in ALL CAPS AND THAT MAKES ME AFRAID THAT THEY WILL SCREAM EVERYTHING AND I WON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE THERE and they said it was an Echo-friendly company which worries me because then all that yelling they do will just echo back and forth and what if it is in a very solid building where those sounds just reverb all day long from the yelling.  My tummy is starting to hurt thinking about it and I am now getting anxiety from it.....I really hope that they meant it was an Eco-friendly company because I like recycling and earth-friendly alternatives.  I also think it might be a good fit for me because much like myself, this company obviously enjoys using run-on sentences.  Here is that posting:

Happy Administrative Professionals Week to you and your friends who are lucky enough to have jobs and not sleep in your car.....