In Which I Get a Job - for real this time!!!!

After 6 frustrating months--2 weeks left until my unemployment money runs out--I received a decent job offer, which I happily accepted.  The job is not in the planning field.  Not even close.  It is actually one that may bring personal happiness through work.  I am looking forward to that.  It is a social work type job with an assisted living facility.  I like people.  I like problem solving.  This is the best of both. Hopefully it works out well and I won't have to be unemployed like this again.  While I did enjoy not working during the summer months, having plenty of free time, having a clean house and sleeping in each morning; the overall lack of money really sucked.  If I have to work in order to afford the basic necessities then at least I can work with something that provides some enjoyment.  

Granted it doesn't come close to what I have made hourly in the last 10 years either but I can work my way up and the freedom, flexibility and reliability are worth it.  Additionally, my friend (whose job I am filling because she quit to fulfill her dreams--and I wish her luck because that takes balls) says it is a wonderful place to work and she absolutely loved it.  I trust her because she is the most straight forward person I have ever met and if it were a crap-hole full of nasty politics and unhappiness like the last black hole of ectoplasam where we worked together, she would have told me and she would have worded it like a sailor and there would be no mistaking how she felt about it.  It was on her glowing recommendation that I even applied for it.  So props to you, Mare, you rock!  Hope you succeed in the next endeavor because I don't plan on giving you your job back should you want it again :)

What I learned:  I had no luck applying for jobs on craigslist.  Yahoo! Jobs, Monster and CareerBuilder all seem to be shams.  No luck ever--only scam jobs or job listings ripped from other sources.  In the end, good old fashioned job service proved to be one of two viable sources.  The other source was usajobs.gov.  I found a contract position through it however I don't want to move so that offer wasn't accepted.  

Finding work this late in the game was stressful.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do beyond August.  At least the feds approved the extension of unemployment so technically I could have received another 33 weeks of unemployment but still, it is not enough to live.  I will be happy to no longer qualify for food stamps.  I will be happy to have benefits.  I will be happy to a have job.   Now that I cashed in my retirement, I can go shopping so I can have nice new clothes for my nice new job.  Woot!  Woot!  Now that is also something to be happy about.

Ding Dong..Avon Calling

My daily dose of spam job openings included six, count em, six job postings from Avon in one email from Monster this morning.  How delightful.  I go to college, work my butt off and the best fit I can get for 17 years of administrative and professional experience is as an Avon Lady.  What has the economy come to?

I have nothing against Avon Ladies Representatives (to be politically correct) I just don't believe it would be the best fit.  Besides, I wouldn't want to put my friends out of business.  I have 2 friends, a cousin and an aunt who sell Avon.  

However, this does present me with a research project.  I shall now start researching which direct sales company provides the best consultant benefits for compensation, discounts, incentives and product diversity.  I will pretend it is my job for the week. That will keep me busy along with trying to find a new house to rent, cleaning up this house, packing this house into boxes and moving those boxes into storage while I look for a different house to move into.  I am sure I can find time somewhere. 

The one thing about having all this free time is I don't really feel like I have any free time.  Most of it seems relegated to other tasks such as dishes, laundry, working at the business with my husband and spending hours a day on job searches and reading materials to stay current in my field since I am not practicing on a daily basis anymore.  Off to work I go....

Here is the email I received with 6 Avon postings.  I wasn't making that up.  I would never have been clever enough to make a joke like that:

More Fake Job Offers

Prior to this job search I thought that spam was limited to get rich quick schemes and sending money to Nigeria. Apparently, it also applies to those who post their resumes on Careerbuilder.com and Monsterjobs.com.  What a sad, sad day it is for those of us who really want to work.  How many people get reeled into these scams and end up becoming insurance salespeople?  I am almost curious to respond to one of these but my desire to sell insurance is not there at all.  Plus, if it is legitimate I would have received a personal email or even a phone call not a mass-produced pretend letter of interest.  This is just so wrong.  If the insurance industry really needs people why don't they post the supposed job openings in the newspaper or on craigslist?  *Sigh*  
Now, I am beginning to doubt that anyone can actually find a real job using careerbuilder or monsterjobs.  If you know of anyone who has actually received jobs through these sites please let me know.  I am about to relegate them to the junk email folder for fake earning money sites such as daily surveys and mystery shopper jobs....


These are some of the emails I have received where people pretend to be interested in me.  I feel like the girl out with her friends at the bar stuck with the left over guy who is only there because his best friend is hooking up with your best friend-- so you have to stay with them only you don't want anything to do with their friend --so both of you pretend you are interested in each other even though there is no way in hell either of you will ever hook up or have anything in common and it will never go anywhere....  Aargh!

OMG! A Real Job for Real Money??? NO Way!!!!

I received a poorly written phishing email which had presented itself as a job offer.  The email contained many errors.  I felt it was my duty to inform Jane (the fake women who sent me the email) that her communication skills were lacking and a well-planned successful scam would utilize proper grammar and spelling in order to achieve maximize returns.  Below is a copy of the email I received and my response to her.  I hope I hear back from them.  It sounds like a very fun place to work.  By the way, I am available for your proofreading and editing needs as well.  Have a Bless Day!

MY RESPONSE:


Dear Jane:

While I am not interested in being part of your corporate team as a Payment Processing Manager, I am interested in working as a independent proofreader.  Your email had numerous errors and reads as if it was written by the same poor 3rd world worker with basic English skills who translates directions for assembling shelving units and the like.

Below are the items that I feel you should change if you would like your phishing scam letter to have a higher response rate.  This heightened response rate will bring you increased revenue while stealing from people.

1. Do not start with "Real Job for Real Money" in the subject line.  Most rational people assume that "real jobs" will not pay with monopoly money.
2. Third Sentence reads "Do you know what does it entail?"  The grammatically correct sentence would read "Do you know what it entails," or "Do you know what all it entails?".
3. No one would phrase a statement with incorrect tenses such as "It's empower business...".
4. Where the base salary is mentioned there should be a space inserted between 30 and days.
5. It should read "No need to pay" not "No needs to pay."
6. The closing remark should be written to state "Have a blessed day" not "Have a bless day."

I charge $35 an hour for my proofreading work with a minimum of one hour for all jobs.  This first interaction has been a courtesy consult and no fee is being charged at this time.  

I look forward to working with you in the future.  Have a blessed day.

Best Regards,

Nicole