OMG! A Real Job for Real Money??? NO Way!!!!

I received a poorly written phishing email which had presented itself as a job offer.  The email contained many errors.  I felt it was my duty to inform Jane (the fake women who sent me the email) that her communication skills were lacking and a well-planned successful scam would utilize proper grammar and spelling in order to achieve maximize returns.  Below is a copy of the email I received and my response to her.  I hope I hear back from them.  It sounds like a very fun place to work.  By the way, I am available for your proofreading and editing needs as well.  Have a Bless Day!

MY RESPONSE:


Dear Jane:

While I am not interested in being part of your corporate team as a Payment Processing Manager, I am interested in working as a independent proofreader.  Your email had numerous errors and reads as if it was written by the same poor 3rd world worker with basic English skills who translates directions for assembling shelving units and the like.

Below are the items that I feel you should change if you would like your phishing scam letter to have a higher response rate.  This heightened response rate will bring you increased revenue while stealing from people.

1. Do not start with "Real Job for Real Money" in the subject line.  Most rational people assume that "real jobs" will not pay with monopoly money.
2. Third Sentence reads "Do you know what does it entail?"  The grammatically correct sentence would read "Do you know what it entails," or "Do you know what all it entails?".
3. No one would phrase a statement with incorrect tenses such as "It's empower business...".
4. Where the base salary is mentioned there should be a space inserted between 30 and days.
5. It should read "No need to pay" not "No needs to pay."
6. The closing remark should be written to state "Have a blessed day" not "Have a bless day."

I charge $35 an hour for my proofreading work with a minimum of one hour for all jobs.  This first interaction has been a courtesy consult and no fee is being charged at this time.  

I look forward to working with you in the future.  Have a blessed day.

Best Regards,

Nicole