Skills I Don't Possess for a Job That I Don't Want

I noticed an ad in the Daily Interlake today stating that Hammer Nutrition is hiring.  Upon visiting their webpage I realized a few things: 

1. I probably don't want to apply as it only pays $10 an hour to take phone orders and I made more than that when I worked in Seattle as a phone operator at a college in 1995 (I made $2 more than that an hour to be precise)
2. They want someone who can type 80 words per minute and require a typing test (see earlier posting about typing speeds).  Holy Crap!   80 words per minute!  I can only type 67 words per minute and I went to a technical college. I never thought I would see the day someone actually has a minimum typing speed but pays a minimum amount.  Do they think that most people can amass a typing speed of that caliber without any formal training?  Also, it requires dedication that $10 an hour probably wouldn't attract most of the people that type that fast have computer skills and are looking for something more like real jobs.  Maybe they should also recruit texters. Matter of fact, I think some of the kids that work at the pizza place for my husband could qualify as they don't really work.  All they do is text each.  They don't even answer their phones.  They just text.  Sometimes, they don't even make pizzas because they text.  Sometimes I want to stomp on their cell phones so they stop texting.  Yes, I think texting is a better gauge of typing ability because it involves complex thinking skills for relational matters between letters and numbers.  Maybe I will tell them to apply to so I can work for my husband instead of them...
3. Hammer Nutrition must have high ideals because another job posting I saw a few weeks ago also said that it wanted people who were in-shape.  It more or less said they wanted applicants that reflect the lifestyle that they cater too.  They might as well have posted a sign that said "NO FATTIES."    Jerks.  I like to eat.  Maybe I would like their nutritional supplements and nutri-grain bars.  Who better to estimate that than some one with a few extra pounds on them.  Duh.... I didn't become un-skinny because I hate food and calories.  It was actually quite the opposite.  Maybe I should point out that that is discrimination. I heard that people can receive unemployment for being overweight. I am not to the point of requiring an electric scooter-cart at the grocery store.  I can walk across the room and up the stairs without being out of breath.  I can walk a few miles without complaining too much. I am just lazy and would rather play on my laptop and read than work-out.  (I am trying to change that although losing my health insurance when I lost my job f'ed me up because I can't go see a doctor now about that muscle in my leg that I ripped due to bad shoes--therefore I can't walk very far each day right now otherwise I end up hopping on one leg until I get home cuz I can't put any weight on my right foot when I "push" off with toes.  I have to walk like I had a stroke or a numbing solution added to my right leg, the best way to describe it is how Frakenstein walks.)
4. Hammer used to employ a kid that worked for my husband.  That kid was a sloth. He didn't move fast and he didn't speak fast and he didn't do anything fast except steal (he and his brother were quite good at that).  If they hired him then why would I want to work there?  Not really the reflection of a highly selective environment.
5. I have talked myself out of this job.