This is News??!?!!!

NOTE:  This is not related to my job search so I am venting.....Hence the different font.  I think I may start a facebook group about this...


I don't care about the Kardashians.  I have only watched their stupid show one time and even then it was for about 2 minutes before I turned it.  I have an anti-famous-for-being-famous-quirk.  If someone is famous it should be for being really excellent or evil.  Not for being rich or for who your parents are or aren't (Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, dingbat Kardashians).  Regardless of how I feel I was taken aback that this was actually a headline on CNN.  Kim Kardashian actually came out and said "I didn't cause plane stench."  WTF????  Now you have me curious, I will read this drivel because that is the most tarded headline I have EVER seen.  The whole article then goes on to say that someone said she had a burrito in first class and it stunk up the plane.  Apparently it bothered Kim so much she had to set the record straight by saying she hates burritos so it wasn't her.  Don't believe me here is a screen shot and a link to the stupid article. 

Guess what...I LOVE BURRITOS!!! If I didn't own a pizza business then I would sell burritos.  If they were people, I might even marry them.  That said: If you love burritos you should not like Kim Kardashian because she hates burritos.  'Nuff said!  Kim Kardashian = Anti-burrito = Un-American!!!

I thought it was Wednesday but it is Thursday

Somedays I can tell that I haven't had a job for a long time. Last week I went to license the utility trailer and all I knew was that it was the 20-something of April. Today I was excited because it was hump-day then I realized it is Thursday. Hump-day isn't so much a hump anymore without a real job but it is the little things in life that keep us sane. Right?

There was one promising job in the paper this morning. I rewrote my resume and cover letter for it and promptly submitted it via email. If I tell you what it was for then I will jinx myself so I won't tell anyone what I apply for anymore--not that I really did that often. I am just tired of being asked "Hey, did you get the job as a tic-tac counter? I just love orange tic-tacs." ME: "No." *then I cry*

There were two jobs on Craigslist that I definitly do not want and would not be good at. One is a chef. I am only good at cooking for my family. In a large restaurant I probably wouldn't do so well. I can however make sloppy joes very excellently and hot dogs. I am good at hot dogs. 

There was also a job posted for an assistant woodworker. That is not one I should try. Ever. I am very clumsy. Honestly.  When I worked in Idaho, I got hurt at work so often that my boss forbid me from filing another worker's comp claim. I am serious. 

Once I fell and broke my butt (later I just found out it was only the tail bone but I still tell people that I fell so hard it cracked my butt). Another time I was sitting at my desk and dropped a pencil. Usually not an eventful action for people. For me it was. See, as I was sitting in my chair I bent forwardish rather quickly to pick the pencil up with my very long arms. Only my arm wasn't as long as I thought and I smacked the bridge of my nose on the edge of the desk. I broke my nose. No shit. Sitting right there at a desk job--I got two black eyes and broke my nose. 

Another time we were posting a job site on a very windy day. So windy in fact that when I reached up to pull the hatch down on the back of the vehicle, the wind caught it and that automatic shutting hatch which normally comes down really slow--not so slow in a 40 mile per hour wind. Smash! It came down on my face and cut the skin off my nose. Actually, I just felt it hit my nose and I keeled over and was like "Oh *#!#" (It actually sounded more like the F-word). Then I yelled to my co-worker who was wondering what the hell was going on as I am bent over screaming "I think I broke my nose and it appears to be bleeding."  He says "Let me see."  I uncupped my hands and showed him.  His face=white.  His response "Oh shit!  You didn't just break it, Nikki.  You cut your nose off!"  That is when he gave me his red fleece vest and told me not to look in the mirror.  He was such a good friend.  He took me to the Emergency Room where I was in luck that it was a clean cut and I had my nose flap glued back on.  He even called my husband -then boyfriend- to tell him where I was.  Also, he didn't mind that I had put blood all over his vest.  He was the best kind of co-worker to have.....

So anyway, maybe that would give you a little perspective as to why I don't think I will be applying for the woodworker position.  I drew a picture of how my first day would go.

A Promising Job

Ok.  So I lied.  It is not a promising job that I saw posted on Craigslist this morning.  It did make me think and I briefly became creative and had one of those little daydreams in my head where I am off doing something different other than sitting on the couch with my laptop on my knees...  It was for a Graveyard Waitress.   Right away I thought "Who would want to work in the cemetery at night?"  Then I remembered that I am blonde and realized it was for the night shift.  No shit.  That is how my brain works sometimes especially the longer I go without exercising it with a real job that involves thinking and crap like that.  Anyway, here is a picture that I drew of what I thought the job should entail.  I bet this is more fun than the real job since the real job is at the bowling alley.  It is the only 24 hour restaurant we have in town.  It would not really be a fun job since the railroaders and drunks are most likely the only ones to come in that late at night.  But I bet that would make it easier than a busy shift.  However, it would be more fun if it was in the graveyard.  Boo!

Craigslist also has a post by a middle school student who doesn't want to work for money, he wants to work for a dirt bike.  So if anyone has a dirt bike laying around please give it to that kid because he went out of his way to post that and it was probably out of his comfort zone-- because in junior high I was shy and not outgoing like that--I bet he isn't either but he REALLY wants a dirt bike so he is willing to post on craigslist, give up his entire summer, and walk or ride a bike all over town just to do work so he can get a dirt bike.  If I had a dirt bike I would give it to him.  I sure like that kid.  I almost hope he finds a job before I do because I at least get unemployment and this poor kid he gets nothing.  Good luck to you kid.  I hope you find your bike soon!

It's my Anniversary!!!

Most people celebrate anniversaries so I will mark this occasion.  I have officially been unemployed for 3 months today.  Oh joy!  Three months ago I sat under fluorescent lights for 8 hours a day in front of two (yes 2) LCD monitors and answered emails, shuffled papers, designed pretty maps of land use use and park locations and got yelled at often by the general public who doesn't like whatever it is that there neighbor is doing.  Three months ago I did that.  

Fast Forward to April 26, 2010:  I still sit in front of computer for 8 hours a day and answer emails however it is mainly fun now.  I draw pretty pictures in paint.  I use paint.net to morph pictures of normal people into pictures of my sister and I visiting far-off places like Niagra Falls.  Sometimes I post on forums.  I update my facebook status a few times a week, I play evony and everyday sort through job postings on Craigslist and apply for those that make more than working at Wendy's (which isn't many here since we have a rather high unemployment rate of 13.2%.  Aargh!).    However, I think that I like my life better now.  I am broke and eligible for public assistance but I am happy.  My boss is myself and I tell me what to do.  Here are some scenarios to compare then versus now:

3 months ago:  Boss says “There is a city council meeting and we need these reports written ASAP and someone will need to give the presentations...you have 2 hours...GO!”

Now:  It is 11 am and I still haven't taken a shower.  I say “Self, take a shower!”  So I do. Much more relaxed.

3 months ago:  “My neighbor is building a house and their roof is blocking my view of the ski run, please stop him/my neighbor is painting their house blue and it doesn't match the shade of my house, please stop them/my neighbor doesn't mow his yard as much as I want him to, please stop him/I want to sell donuts in a residential area please don't stop me.”

Now:  Me--looking out the window at my neighbor--He is washing his car in his driveway peacefully.  I am watching a rerun of Cold Case.  I am drinking a beer.  This is nice.  No one stops me.

So as you can hopefully see, I am a better boss than my old one as I let myself do nothing really and everything is fun.  I don't get yelled at and if I do, I am in my house so I can yell back.   That feels really good.  I feel more like I have graduated to Neverneverland since I really do whatever I feel like.  This summer is going to be fun!  I do like anniversaries.  Now to celebrate, I am going to have a beer.  Cheers!

*Later, after my celebratory dinner of sloppy joes and strawberry yogurt I shall post a happy drawing to commemorate this occasion.*  **Update:  Here are the pictures that show me then, with a job and now without a job.